


From Russia, with Love

by qoyzhavvorsi



Series: MARVEL UNIVERSE LOVE [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Also russia, Bucky likes music, Complicated Relationships, F/M, Gen, H.Y.D.R.A, Hawkeye is Awesome, Hawkeye is author's favorite, I'll tag as I go, Mentions of Loki/reader relationship, Nat and Banner are cute, Other, PTSD, Protective Bucky, Reader-Insert, S.H.I.E.L.D - Freeform, Sorry Not Sorry, Tony is not impressed, Wanda maybe shows up on the later chapters, Work In Progress, bucky babe, description of violence, fluffy fluff, possibly smut on later chapters, reader is a badass, russian love, the Avengers are a family, tw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-05-23 16:37:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6122716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qoyzhavvorsi/pseuds/qoyzhavvorsi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader is Natasha’s younger sister, gathered with her by Nick Fury to the SHIELD and Avengers Initiative, but she denied. Deciding to live a low life after all the experiments and training she went through her whole life. Reader is also skilled in mind controlling and hypnosis, graduating in psychology and helping the Avengers when needed. </p><p>When a certain Winter Soldier is found with sever PTSD, she is called to help again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The winter never really ends in Russia

**Author's Note:**

> So, I had this laying around for months and I got back to it after a Marvel Marathon and decided to give it a shot here, maybe? 
> 
> The Russian is straight up from google translator, i love russia and everything about it but i don't speak Russian and can barely understand it, so please if you can correct me be free to do so :D (I hope i do not offend any russian babies here, please)
> 
> Saying that, english is ALSO not my first language, please if there's any mistakes or anything I let slip, let me know, I'm here to make this enjoyable to all of us <3
> 
> That's it, I hope you like it (:
> 
> Reviews and Comments are always welcome and highly wanted!!  
> You can also find me on pretty much anywhere @qoyzhavvorsi
> 
> Be gentle to each other, grab a coat and let's go

  
“She’s not coming…” Clint said, looking through the windows of the last floor of Stark Tower.  
  
“She is coming, She’d never desert me” Natasha’s voice was serious, the whole air on the room was heavy and all the avengers were there. Waiting.  
  
“Russian doll better hurry up, we have a lot to work on with that one” Tony said, playing around with JARVIS. At the same moment Tony said so, the elevator doors opened to reveal Agent Coulson and a small female frame behind him. Natasha smile grew wide, almost running towards the door  
  
  
"сестра  _(sister)_ " Natasha hugged you as soon as you entered the room, you hugged back the red headed assassin.

 

"сестра, как ты? ( _sister how are you?)_ " you haven't seen Nat in months. Yes you helped the Avengers several times before but would rather be apart from them, even though it means to be away from your sister months at a time.

 

" Я огонь , как насчет вас ?  _(I'm fine how about you?_ )" your sister's arms were still around you. You were about the same height as Natasha, maybe even a little shorter, she was also almost three years older than you, making her feel very protective and responsible for everything about your life.

 

"English, please?" Tony interrupted, you never really liked Tony. To you, he was just a playboy with a fancy machine. Not a real soldier, not a real hero. Natasha looked back at you.  
  
“дорогая  _(sweetie),_ we need your help” Natasha had her eyes on yours, she looked extremely worried, more worried than when she asked you to help with Loki, and that was a wicked case.  
  
“I’m listening” your accent was still noticeable, unlike your sister’s. Still, you liked it. You could speak Russian, English, German, French and Italian, but you never managed to get rid of your accent.  
  
“We found someone, from HYDRA…” your eyes widened as you heard the name, fear pumping through your veins “The Winter Soldier, he was HYDRA’s secret weapon... his name is James Barnes, he’s American and he fought on War with Steve” now you looked up to Captain America, who approached the two of you.  
  
“Ms. Romanoff…(Y/N), Bucky, James, we were friends… and he means a lot to me, if you could only help him” you took the file Rogers was holding and passed your eyes through it, it would do little help. You needed to see him.  
  
“Take me to the subject” you stood on your feet again, side to side to your sister, who seemed to be relieved by your decision. As much as you didn’t want anything to do with Tony Stark, you couldn’t say no to your sister not to someone to been throught what you or her been through. You needed to help.  
  
  
  
  
The elevator went to the labs, you could see Bruce and Thor as the door opened, both smiled at you.  
  
“Lady (Y/N)” Thor took your hand, kissing it “Freya herself envies your beauty” you smiled shyly hugging him. He was by far your best friend on the Avengers.  
  
“(Y/N)… hi, I was wondering if they would call you” Bruce said as you greet him with a hug “long time no see…” you knew he and Nat had something going on, since she asked you to teach her techniques of how to calm him down and she talked about him, a lot.  
  
“Yes, where is Mr. Barnes?” you couldn’t see the man around,  
  
“On the cages” Tony replied and you looked shocked at him, cages?  
  
" _Он не может поставить людей в клетках! Это варварское! (He cannot put people in cages! This is barbaric!)_ " you aggressively whispered to Nat, who held your wrist carefully.

 

"You're right, love but we are not sure how much we can trust Bucky yet. Steve says he's a good guy, but we know what HYDRA can do...please (y/n), be careful, I know you don't trust Tony, but be careful." There was true concern on your sister's eyes and you agreed, with a small smile and a head nod. 

 

You and Natasha always had a special connection, even before your mental training. You could tell the other's feelings and sometimes even thoughts, also you could easily sense when the other was in danger, _'blood is thicker than anything on this world, family always comes first'_ your grandmother used to tell you.

 

"Does Porcelain Doll over there will someday quit the Russian mumbling around?" You heard Tony asking Natasha as you approached the cage, you could swear you sister rolled her eyes and punch him on the ribs by his sound.

 

"Leave her alone" there it was, the old protective Nat.

 

You asked the guards to let you in, they didn't. Just when Tony said it was okay, they opened the glass door for you. 

 

"чертовский _обученных собак (fucking trained dogs)"_ after you mumbled that, more to yourself that anything else, you saw the man on the room look at you with fear. HYDRA traumatized him, of course speaking Russian wouldn't help, stupid you. 

 

You walked a few steps, closer to him, showing both of your hands on a 'surrender' gesture, assuring you had no weapons on.

 

"Hi, I'm (Y/N), I'm here to help you" you place a seat in front of him, looking for his eyes. There was so much fear it was paralyzing.

 

"You just... spoke Russian, you're lying, you're with them..." his whispers were fast, his voice almost not coming out of his throat.  
  
You laid your eyes at the man, he was tall, strong, just like Rogers, but brunette and long haired, with multiple scars and a prosthetic metal-made arm with a Red star on it. His eyes were baby blue, blown with fear of what happened to him and of the unknown.  
  
“I’m not lying. Yes, I spoke Russian. I am Russian. I am (Y/N) Romanoff, I am Natasha’s Romanoff, the Black Widow, sister. She’s Steve Roger’s friend. They help you to come in here…” your voice was on an even tone, calm and deep, on a way to the man’s mind.  
  
“Steve Rogers is my friend…” he said again, finally looking up at you, into your eyes, with a small smile. Good, now you had to keep that look to make your magic work.  
  
“Yes, he is your friend, and I am his friend, you can trust me.” You made the foolish mistake of touching his prosthetic hand and it all snapped.  
  
The act was so fast you barely registered on your brain. James got up and suddenly attacked you, his metal arm around your neck, your back against the wall. You never tried to free yourself, breathing deeply and keeping your eyes locked with his the whole time. At the same time, Steve and Natasha were on the room helping you.  
There is was, in front of you, every feeling that went through his mind from the moment he threw you against that wall to the moment he let his grip go and muttered ‘sorry’. You needed him to snap like that, you knew you could get by and you knew nothing would actually happen to you, because of course everyone was watching and you were just as trained as Natasha.  
  
“Are you alright?” you sister asked, checking the marks on your neck, you nodded.  
  
“Leave us…” your eyes never leaving Bucky. Steve and Nat looked at each other confused “Please, sister, Capitan, leave us… it won’t take long.” Now you looked deep into your sister’s eyes for a second “trust me Nat” she agreed, kissing your cheek.  
  
“We’ll be outside” Rogers said, giving one last look at you and Bucky. You gave him a small warm smile.  
  
Bucky was sitting on the corner, on the floor, arms around his knees, rocking his body, a typical panic attack. Eyes shut as he mumbled some incomprehensive words. You kneeled in front of him.  
  
“James, it’s alright” again your deep, low, even tone “you didn’t hurt me, you are safe. Everyone is safe”  
  
“There’s too much blood, there’s blood everywhere, I can’t feel my arm. And the snow… is the snow ever going to end on this fucking land?” his eyes were still shut, you realized it was his memories from before HYDRA found him, you needed to bring him back to reality.  
  
“The snow never ends in Russia” you laughed a little, actually you missed it, that’s why you had your natural (H/C) hair white.  
  
“I hate Russia…” he breathed, finally looking up at you.   
  
“You are in New York now, on Stark Tower. You are safe… You are not in Russia anymore"  
  
"Why are you doing this?" his voice was full of pain "I don't want to remember, I don't want... There's too much blood, too much death...Everybody's dead"  
  
"You're alive, I am alive... Steve, Natasha, the avengers, we are all alive Bucky. It's over now..." you worked your way to hold the soldier's human hand, slowly brushing his knuckles, trying to calm him down. He denied your words with a head nod  
  
"Everyone's dead, they just don't know it yet" Okay, it can be the panic, you had to work through it "You're dead, doll"  
  
"And what happened to everybody, Bucky?"  now you were genuinely confused, his eyes changed to an evil cold smirk on the last sentence, he was not terrified anymore.  
  
__****  
"я сделал (I did)"  
  
  
  
  


 

 


	2. Hot Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of what happened after your first meeting with the soldier  
> and how the others reacted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOSH I AM SO LATE WITH THIS
> 
> I swear I tried to write but i had the BIGGEST writers block, i couldn't even write the other stuff i work on, but i guess i'm back now.  
> pls dont hate me.
> 
> I hope it doesn't suck.

You left the chamber where they kept Bucky to find a new face looking straight into your eyes with a deadly expression.

 

"What do you think you are doing with that animal?" the passive aggressiveness on his voice cut the air in between you.  
 

"Hello Loki" you were not scared by the asgardian prince, passing by him. Loki held your arm pulling you back near him, you just shot the man an angry look.

 

"We'll talk about this later" he whispered walking by you out of the room, you now looked at your confused sister

 

"What is he doing here?" you gave her an 'I don't know' look as the Captain approached.

 

"So, do you think you can help him?" Steve looked really concerned about his friend. Honestly, you didn't exactly knew what you could do to help that didn't involve controlling his mind, just like HYDRA, but you could try.

 

"I'll do my best, Cap, don't worry" he smiled fondly to you, thanking you with a head nod, now it was Thor and Clint who shot you worried looks

 

"I don't know what Loki is doing here, you know your brother does as he damn pleases, i don't have a dog tag around his neck and for the last damn time, i cannot control him" the words spitted on a defensive mood made Clint smirk.

 

"Am I sensing a competition in between nutheads?" Tony comment made you roll your eyes, looking one last time to the Winter Soldier inside his chamber before walking out, Natasha walking after you.

 

"I need full access to those chambers, and tell Stark to call back his trained dogs, i don't want anyone besides me and the subject in there" the elevator doors closed and your sister asked the AI to take you both to her floor on the tower.

 

" _Sestra_ , the winter soldier is a dangerous weapon, I am not comfortable in leaving you alone with him."

 

"Nat, you need to trust me in this. You trust me with Loki and he is a goddamn GOD" your sister's fears were really bothering you.

 

"Yeah, and let's see where it got you" now she was being just plain old sister, mocking to the fact that you and Loki had this ...thing... back then. Her smirk was as mischievous as the Asgardian himself.

 

"Shut up!" you held a small laugh, as the elevator stopped, you walked out to meet a person you never saw before on your sister's kitchen.

  


"Well hello, Mother Russia" what? Your confuse look said it all and Nat was just laughing.

 

"(Y/N) this is Sam Wilson. He's part or the team too" and what exactly is he doing in your kitchen sister? "You better behave Sam, she is my baby sister, respect"

 

"Oh Nat, I wouldn't DREAM of disrespecting such a pretty face. Now tell me the truth, you two were the actual cause of the whole America and Russia war right? I mean you ARE nuclear bombshells" is this guy for real Nat? You raised your eyebrow.

 

"Just ignore it, he'll stop" the man left a hurt 'hey' after the orders of ignoring him "and why on earth are you eating my food, Wilson?"

 

"I wanted strawberries" he shrugged. Nat took the fruit out of his hands, under protest.

  


You walked to what always was your room there and whined at the sight of more trouble waiting for you, sitting patiently on the bed. All you needed, a god with daddy issues

 

"Please come back later I got a headache and work to do" in a blink of an eye you were pressed against the door, his face inches from your own, one of his cold hands holding your chin up.

 

"I think you must have forgotten i am not one of your brainless midgardians, pet." Loki was musing over your face, his voice a sweet whisper "you cannot tell me what to do, with your powers or your pretty eyes" you freed yourself from him, walking towards your bed and laying down, eyes closed.  
His eyes were still on you, you could feel it.

 

"What do you want, Loki?” he was still near the door, watching you, it would be creepy if it wasn’t …well, Loki.  
  
“Well, dear, I know I do not want you near that animal…” Loki made his way to your bed, ghosting over you.  
  
“Stop calling the poor guy an animal, you know how hard Tony can be on people… he needs help” you made the motion to sit up but Loki forced you to stay down, under him.  
  
“I said I don’t want you near him, pet” his words were sharp, and his glaze at you was even sharper  
  
“I am not your pet, and you can not tell me what to do Laufeyson” on a quick move you locked your legs around him, turning you both over and now you were on top, straddling Loki. He had that mischievous smile but you knew better finding a blade you always kept with you, pointing the blade at the pulsing point on his throat.  
  
“Oh but are we having fun already?” his eyes were sparkling at you, the intense green getting dark with lust as you got down to his ear level.  
  
“You better get out of here and let me do my job, or I swear I will rip your guts out with my own hands, asgardian” you lightly bit his earlobe and could hear him chuckle under you.  
  
“Oh I do love you” he was still laughing as you got off from him, sitting on the edge of your bed again  
  
“GET OUT!” you couldn’t help but laugh too, throwing a pillow but Loki managed to disappear before it could hit him.   
  
  
  
It was way passed midnight and you couldn’t sleep. Books didn’t help either. You were worried about the guy, the Winter Soldier. Could he be so bad? There was so much fear on his mind, so much confusion. He was not like Loki, who had his porpoise, he was lost.   
  
Before you knew, you were going to his cell again, this time with hot chocolate and some comforters and pillows, since you didn’t see any type ofblankets or anything there.  
  
The man was sitting on the corner of his cell, some guards were outside the door but you managed to make them believe you weren’t there, courtesy of your mind training.   
  
“Bucky, isn’t it?” he didn’t look up, his eyes were on the floor, but you knew his mind was far away. “hey, do you mind if I sit here?” as you took a sit on the floor next to him, you noticed his breath get shallow, and he started to shake. Another panic attack.  
  
Bucky wouldn’t say a word to you, even though you try to calm him down, he wouldn’t even look up to you and would avoid your eyes if you try to reach him, so you decided to get your distance, still inside the cell.  
  
“Hey, I got you hot chocolate, I don’t know how they are treating you here so I made it… and this is in case you get cold or something” you left the pillows and comforter by his side watching the man still like a stone, only knowing he was listening because of the light tremors.  
  
You spend minutes there, just watching, not saying a single word and seeing him ignore everything. _What did Hydra do to you boy?_  
As you felt yourself getting cold and tired, you decided it was time for you to go back to your room and try to sleep, the plan was start therapy sessions with Bucky in the morning.  
  
“I’m going to my room now, but I see you in a few hours, okay? Try to get some sleep Bucky, please” this time you were able to reach those blue eyes blown with fear and confusion “I’m going to help you” his eyes were locked on yours now, for a moment. You try your best to look and sound calming and confident to him, he needed to feel safe.   
  
As you were walking out of his cell, you heard him moving a bit, his body making a sound against the wall.  
  
“Thank you” it was not more than a weak whisper, he was looking at you on the door. The until now untouched mug of hot chocolate on his hands and in that moment you wanted nothing more than take him out of there.   
  
  
  
Yep, you needed a plan.  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am at twitter @thatlucifer
> 
> come say hi!


	3. About Me & You and crazy Russian people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little about character upbringing. and cuteness, and feels.  
> and big sister Natasha
> 
> TW: mentions of violence ans extreme cuteness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mostly of the idea from this chapter was another story i wanted to write but i just got stuck with this idea for the female character so i decided to introduce it here, i hope it does not get weird.
> 
> Enjoy you Shawarma and your feelings.
> 
> Also, listen to a band called Post Modern Jukebox, they do covers of popular songs in a vintage style. i think Bucky would like them and I listen to they covers nonstop writing this.
> 
> Also Robbers by 1975

  
“Did you tell him?” Natasha was sitting on the couch on her living room, in the dark. It made you jump off you feet  
  
“GEEZ NAT, YOU ALMOST KILLED ME HERE” you hand was now at your chest, you breath uneven. She walked to you, arms crossed on her chest.  
  
“You were on the containment room with Barnes, did you tell him?” _how does she? Oh… JARVIS of course._ You sighed, going for a glass of water, you sister still waiting your answer, you knew she wouldn’t give up.  
  
“I didn’t, okay? I don’t know if I even will… How could he ever trust me if I tell him ‘Oh you know I also am an HYDRA murder weapon, just like you, let’s cry our hearts out cuz guess what? They wanted us to breed like animals. Also, I killed the other GIRLS they put me up against” you had tears in yours eyes. Natasha knew it still affected you, how you were trained. You went beyond the Red Room, you had it worse than her and she still blame herself for that.  
  
“Hey Nat…” you looked in direction of the noise and saw Bruce getting out of your sister’s room, only in his boxers. “Oh sorry…” it was as fast as a second, the moment the doctor saw you he ran back into your sister’s room and now it was your time to questionably look at her.  
  
“Don’t” she warned, smirking at your face before giving her back at you towards the bedroom “you should tell him you know, maybe he’ll connect with you or something”  
  
  
  
_Maybe I should…_  
  
_Maybe…_  
  
  
  
  
Days passed as you worked with Bucky, therapy sessions and countless hours of just sitting there with him, in silence. It took you actually more than a week of daily 3 hour long sessions to make him even speak to you, even though from day one he would only eat anything if it was you who give it to him. He didn’t trust anyone else.  
  
After almost two weeks of complete silence by him you started to bring your acoustic guitar to the room and would play some songs you liked. You noticed Bucky liked especially when you did that, he would close his eyes and have a light smile on his face, well, if you could not talk to him you would at least make him feel slightly better.  
  
“You like music, right?” he couldn’t see but you were smiling, you had just played an old lullaby your mother, and then later, Natasha would sing to you when you were afraid. It worked everytime  
  
“ I like you singing, _nevesta (bride)_ ” he opened his eyes and it surprised you when he looked into your eyes and smirked. “I shouldn’t but I remember seeing you, you were so young…I thought you were dead”  
  
“You are mistaken me for someone else, Barnes” you tried your hardest to keep your voice steady in your lie, but this only made him smirk at you, you never called him Barnes.  
  
_“Kak budto ya ne pomnyu tebya, detka? (as if I did not remember you, babygirl)”_ Bucky was not sit on his bed, looking at you on the chair near him, the cold steel blue eyes focused on you.  
  
“ _Ostanovit! (Stop it)”_ you weren’t ready to open up to the Winter Soldier yet, you had build a cocoon around yourself from your past and now he was sitting inches away from you  
  
“English please, this session is being recorded” JARVIS voice came along into the room, making you break eye contact with the soldier.  
  
“Let’s make a deal, I’ll tell you everything about me, and you start at least answering to my questions… I promise I won’t hurt you, ” you said looking back at him, making the man scoff  
  
“You couldn’t even if you tried babygirl…” _oh you really wanna bet?_ You just rolled your eyes.  
  
“What do you want to know?” long, deep breaths were in and out of your chest. You never talked about your past, not even to your sister. She knew what she had to know, not whatever she wanted to.  
  
“Are you here to kill me?” _what kind of question is that?_  
  
“No, Bucky, I am not here to kill you, I am here to help you. Natasha is indeed my sister and yes, I am one of the good guys” he was afraid of you? _Afraid?_  
  
“Were you erased too? Your mind?” The pain in his eyes were visible, and you felt guilt  
  
“No, I was not. I had a different… mental training. They thought a woman would be a better soldier if she could use persuasion”  
  
“So do you remember…what did they do to you?” he whispered after a long pause and you just agreed with your head trying not to cry with the memories “I remember when I saw you fight the other girls… they never thought you would make it, you know? They thought you were gonna die on the first one, babygirl, and yet… you fought them all. I remember hearing you sing in your cell…” _an stupid Russian lullaby,_ that of all things was what gave you away  
  
“I didn’t fight them James, I killed them, I killed other ELEVEN girls, they were 14, 15 years old, and I killed them” tears went down your cheeks as you remember the day he mentioned.  
  
“You were a kid too, you did what you had to do, to survive” _that’s how you deal with it, then?_  
  
“What came next was even worse…” you cringed at the thought, closing your eyes for a second “my leg… they… they ripped it off, James, now its vibranium, like your arm… they wanted us to be ‘the perfect HYDRA couple’” as you said the words you ripped part of your pants off, so he could see your right prosthetic leg a red star like his on your thigh right above the knee, followed by smaller stars up the thigh “They didn’t even sedate me, they just ripped it off, like animals. I was 14 years old, James, I was a kid. And… and they would beat me up, tear me apart, they raped me more times that I can remember so I would ‘feel nothing’” now you were fully crying, those memories were kept so deep inside you, you wish you never had to bring them up again, but if it meant that Bucky would finally trust you, then you would go there.  
  
“They called you The Bride, they asked me if I was pleased with you… did I… did I ever… hurt you?” You could see he was truly worried, haunted by his past. You denied, watching him let out a breath in relief.  
  
“We never actually met, I mean, you saw me that time but never… we never met in person before. You went to a mission right after they picked me, then, I went to trainings and sent to missions… when I was 19 SHIELD found me on a mission in Brazil, Nat was there… and she rescued me, she brought me to Fury…”  
  
“I always thought they killed you…” his voice was low as you could see his mind went far “I am glad they didn’t, then”  
  
“I still have the nightmares …that’s why I knew you wouldn’t be sleeping when we first met, I still can’t sleep right. It haunts us, their faces…” you noticed Bucky’s eyes were on your metal leg now, fixed, his jaw clenching “You can touch it, go on” a small smile left your lips as you said these words, noticing him blushing slightly. It took a few minutes in silence for Bucky to slowly drive his metal hand to your leg, tracing the details.  
  
“I don’t understand why they did this to you, you were perfect…” his eyes met yours as he spoke and you could feel the heat in your face. You were far than perfect.  
  
“They wanted non-human super soldiers, James. They made a whole army but only a few of us survived the serum” of course he didn’t know that. He was more brainwashed than a living being could bare and still, he was there. Sane.  
  
“Are we the only ones left?” there was fear in his words. You could feel it.  
  
“As far as I know… a few died in battle with SHIELD, others were killed by inside people…I don’t know” before you knew Bucky pulled you into his arms, your first reflex were try to fight it but you realized it was…a hug? So you let it be, hugging him back and stroking his long hair, his muscles relaxed little by little.  
  
“They won’t hurt you, never again, I will die before I let them touch you again, _detka (babygirl)_ ” his words sounded odd… but comforting, and you got yourself inhaling the scent of his skin, feeling weirdly…safe.  
  
“They cannot hurt any of us, James, never again” you said smiling as he let go of you “I promise you that. You will be fine” he agreed, his face like a lost puppy “Do you trust me now?”  
  
“Will you keep on playing songs for me?” his face went full player again and you had to laugh _how does he do that?_  
  
“I will do better, I will bring you an iPod or something, full of songs, what do you like to listen?” the mood was light once again, and you noticed that slowly, Bucky was letting his guard down with you. He gave you his shoulders.  
  
“Surprise me, I guess…” you agreed, getting up from your chair, Bucky held your arm on a reflex and you looked at his eyes, silently asking you to stay.  
  
“I have to go now, I have a meeting with Fury.” He left your arm go, saddened. “Everything gets better when the sun goes down” you whispered these words the lowest you could and almost singing, so JARVIS wouldn’t really get the code you gave Bucky that you’d be back that night, his smile was back on his face now, as he got your acoustic guitar on his side on the bed and started analyzing it, trying the strings.  
  
The only people who knew you were coming to visit Bucky outside your sessions were your sister and Bruce, Natasha even helped you trick JARVIS since she knew more about hacking than you. You needed time with Bucky that was not monitored by Tony Stark. There was nothing much really, you would just bring him some comfort food or some movie to watch so he could relax his mind a bit. You particularly liked showing him Disney movies. There was enough pain in his life, he deserved the fairytale.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Did you?” Natasha opened her mouth as you went back to your floor to get ready to meet Fury  
  
“Yes, Nat, I did okay. I did told the Winter Soldier that I was specially designed to be his fucking bride, like a Dr. Frankenstein monster or something” you spilled the words walking towards your room without noticing there was someone else on the floor.  
  
“Oh but you are so much prettier than Frankenstein…” Tony, of course. He didn’t know about your past until now. Fury, Maria, Clint and Natasha helped you keep it a secret from the rest of the Avengers, since you thought they knowing you were _enhanced_ would only bring you trouble.  
  
“Frankenstein is the Doctor, Stark.” You corrected him, rolling your eyes, his were on your prosthetic leg. “Stop staring at me like I’m a lab rat, please?”  
  
“Can me and Dr. Banner take a look at it in the labs?” Tony was not closer to you, holding the urge to touch the metal “Is it really vibranium? Can we study it? How’s the movement and feeling deal with it?” His hand was now on your leg as he kneeled down in front of you as you kicked him, who fell on his butt on the floor.  
  
“Never touch me without my permission, Stark, EVER” you hated it and you hated especially when it was on your leg. It was just a no, never, don’t do it. You left them and locked yourself on your room again.  
You spent hours browsing your music collection and making a playlist for Bucky, including some songs from the 40’s and some modern stuff you liked. You had no idea what would he like so it was a huge mix, avoiding extremes. You also included a playlist of soothing sounds, you know you thanked yourself for having them on your panic attacks and nightmare nights.  
  
  
  
It was already dark outside when Natasha knocked on your door, you let her in without getting out of your laptop.  
  
“What are you doing? The guys got take out from that Shawarma place Tony likes…” Nat sit on your bed, watching your focused face.  
  
“I’m making a playlist for Bucky, he likes music” you smiled looking at her and her eyebrow raised  
  
“So, you guys are getting really well together I see” _I see what are you doing here_ , you turned yourself to face your big sister __  
  
“Natasha Alianovna Romanoff, I see what you are doing here and no, do not start” she got up from your bed and smiled, that evil big sister smile  
  
“Okay, _detka (babygirl),_ I will not” she winked at you, playing with the way Bucky referred to you earlier. “I am just afraid this is going to be Loki all over again, I mean, you were meant to be with the Winter Soldier…”  
  
“Yes, picked at a War Arena, by HYDRA. Stop it Natasha, there’s nothing to be about this, I am helping James, that’s what Stark, you, Rogers, that’s what you guys wanted…” she agreed with a head motion “Now let’s go eat, god forbid we let Lord Stark of New York waiting” you sister rolled her eyes at the way you called Tony  
  
“Give the guy a chance, Stark is not that bad…” for a playboy maybe.  
  
“He is too touchy…” you whined, closing your laptop and signalizing the door.  
  
“Okay okay, Czarine (Y/N) Alianovna Romanoff, I asked Bruce to snuggle up some Shawarma to your non touchy boyfriend too, it’s in the oven.” You would protest but Bruce was waiting on the hallway and you just looked the maddest you could at your sister.  
  
“How can you stand her Bruce? I swear I can’t…” the doctor just laughed at your comment, remaining silent. He knew better than to piss Natasha off.  
  
“It’s called being a big sister. Stop crying like a baby about it, you know you love me” she bragged on the elevator. She’s right, you did loved her.  
  
  
  
  
It was after midnight when everyone finally was asleep and you sneaking into Bucky’s room, Shawarma, French fries and a Coke in hand. He was reading, and smiled softly as you closed the door behind you and did your tricks.  
  
“What is in the bag?” He asked, accepting it from your hands as you sit by his side on the bed.  
  
“it’s food, Shawarma, it ’sfrom Middle East if I’m not mistaken. Tony is crazy about it.” Your smile grew wider as you saw a smiling Bucky stuffing his face with fries.  
  
“I miss hot dogs… and McDonald’s” he said, finishing to swallow the potato. _Oh American boy_  
  
“I can possibly do something about it” you laugh lightly seeing now he had his mouth full of the sandwich and closed his eyes in delight “You really liked it, don’t you?”  
  
“I miss food, good food, not war food and pills… real food.” Sadness hit you by hearing his words, he was so damaged he missed being able to eat. That was horrible.  
  
“I’m going to start bringing you more stuff, I know you don’t eat what other people bring you…” he seemed ashamed of his acts, looking at the food in his hands again.  
  
“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, I just... I can’t trust it, it’s like war… inside me” his mind was still confused about being kept in the Stark Tower, and being held in a room with guards was not the best way to make him feel comfortable.  
  
“Hey, I also brought you music, I hope you liked it.” You got an iPod from your pocket and handed to him, not before showing him how to turn it on and off and how to use it.  
  
“Thank you.” Bucky always said like he meant it, looking straight into your eyes. “not for this, for the food… thank you, for being here. Thank you for helping me, I know I don’t deserve it…I couldn’t help you with HYDRA” again the guilt in his eyes.  
  
“You didn’t even know me back then, James, it’s okay, you don’t need to thank me. That’s what friends are for, right?” he shrugged, finishing his Coke  
  
“I don’t have friends apart from you and Steve. Steve comes here when he can” you knew that, Steve would also talk about it for countless hours. “and I were not very good with any” again the heavy guilt and pain on those steel eyes.  
  
“Stop it James, you are great. What you did when they controlled you is not your fault. You were a victim of Hydra as much as any of us…” there was a piece of hair covering his eyes and you couldn’t control yourself to push it back behind the man’s ear. Your touch made the soldier freeze and you realized no one of you liked unwarned touches “I am sorry…” you mumbled bracing yourself and Bucky looked at his own hands for a time.  
  
“It’s fine” his mumble was even worse than yours. The silence between you could be cut with a knife.  
  
“Hey, how come when we are in therapy you never talk to me. Is there a night Bucky and a day Bucky?” you tried to break the tension raising an eyebrow at him, who looked up at you  
  
“I know now they cannot see us” Bucky knew you had your tricks with the cameras in his room. “You change too” that was true, you had to agree. “If there wasn’t for you I would have no idea if it’s day or night or anything…” the room he was kept had no windows and he was almost never allowed to go outside, only with Steve and two more SHIELD agents. It was ridiculous.  
  
“About that I have a plan, but you HAVE to start cooperating more on the sessions, so Tony can see you are not a monster James, please” you used your best puppy eyes on him, but the wrong words.  
  
“Maybe I am, maybe this is where I belong” he leaned his head back, on the wall, and you saw his hands clench. Now _you_ wanted to hug him.  
  
“We all deserve a second chance, James, I believe in you. “ he opened his eyes again and looked at you, the ghost of a smile on his lips.  
  
“Of course you do, you are my bride” _oh shut up_ you hit him with the pillow making him laugh lightly. The rest of the conversation was about the books he was reading and how _someone_ got him a Playboy magazine, of course you knew it was Tony and you were pissed, but he said he didn’t look at it. _Ok, Barnes._ Before you knew you were yawning and leaning on his shoulder, both sitting on the bed backs against the cold wall.  
  
“I have to go get some sleep” you remember saying that, at least. But what you felt was a warm blanket around your shoulders and you being slowly led to lay down.  
  
“ _son, detka… ya pozabochus' o tebe (sleep, babegirl, I’ll take care of you)”_ a husky whisper ghosted your ear before you blacked out in your sleep.  
  
Hours later you slowly got conscious about your surroundings, this was not your bed. This bed was horrible, your back hurt. As your eyes opened you saw Bucky sitting by your side, his Winter Soldier face on. _What did just…?_  
  
“James…” you tried your best to sit up fast, but your whole body hurt “God this bed is horrible, that’s why you don’t sleep. Tony will hear a word or two about this” you were so bothered complaining you didn’t noticed Bucky’s expression softened… _and did he just took of an ear plug?_  
  
“I’ve had worse” now you felt bad at complaining. You slept on his bed and he stood awake. He should be complaining  
  
“You shouldn’t have letting me fall asleep here…” you were really embarassed now.  
  
“You were tired… I can stay awake” _this doesn’t mean you should_ “it was not more than a couple of hours” HOURS? OH MY GOD NATASHA IS GOING TO KILL ME  
  
“I have to go, Nat is going to kill me… you… I … thanks, and sorry… and I see you later. ‘kay, bye James.” You made a beeline from his bed to the door and the elevator, not paying attention to the slightly smiley James Barnes behind you on that room.  
  
  
  
  
And of course Natasha was waiting for you, she was actually making coffee. It was almost morning for what you presumed.  
  
“Don’t start” you just pointed at her, who scoffed and gave you her shoulders as you ran to your own room “oh and Tony will listen to me about James' bed, believe me” you yelled at your sister, from your own soft bed.  
  
  
“His bed already, _babygirl_?” you groaned in response and could hear your sister laugh. She _did_ had fun with this didn’t she?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Welcome to your new life. There's Spaghetti.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little domestic avengers chapter, and Nat being a bad ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here i am again with a new fill in chapter!   
> It's calm and domestic and fluffy, but we are getting where i intend to, so keep it up.  
> You gotta love Clintasha friendship
> 
> Thanks for the always awesome reviews and for reading. i love you guys <3

“WAKE UP STARK” you screamed, by the side of Tony’s bed. It was still too early for him and you swear he jumped at your screaming.   
  
“What is wrong with you?” he whined, taking off his night mask – because of course Tony Stark wears a night mask “Are we under attack of aliens from another dimension again?” you stood still, arms crossed and full fighting face on.   
  
“Oh I am sorry, how was sleeping beauty’s rest in his comfortable queen sized bed? Because you know, some of us have something that SHOULDN’T EVEN BE CALLED A BED” you raised your voice again, making Tony cringe.   
  
“What are you talking about? Every room has a bed just like mine…”  
  
“I am talking about Bucky, the way you keep him in inhuman. He represents no harm for you or anyone else, Tony. There’s no reason he should be kept in a cell like that after all this time.” Tony now rolled his eyes at you, he didn’t trust Bucky yet.   
  
“He could snap and go crazy…” _that’s your argument, Stark?_  
  
“He will not, I guarantee you that” now Tony looked curious at you, and made a motion to speak but you were faster “Steve and I will keep him under constant watch, just… take him out of there. There’s room in Steve’s floor. There’s… lots of place in this Tower he can stay. If you do not want him to lose it, keeping him in a cell will not work.” Tony would open and close his mouth but no sound would leave his lips so you appealed you your mental persuasion and puppy eyes “Please, Tony, I will let you and Barnes play laboratory rat with me if that’s what it takes.” A light came to Tony’s face. You knew you would regret it, but if being Stark’s lab pet meant that they would take Bucky out of that cell, you did gladly.   
  
“He can not wander around the Tower, this doesn’t mean that. He can stay in Steve’s floor, and train in the gym with you or Steve. He would not be left alone in any circumstances out the designed area. Your smile was wider than your face and it hurt your cheeks as you agreed. “And both you AND HIM will be studied in the labs by me and Bruce.”  
  
“No invasive exams?” you bit your lip trying to control the smile and he mumbled an agreement  
  
“No invasive. Just physical and blood test.” You jumped on Tony, hugging him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you” you kissed his face a couple of times and jumped out of the bed, running for the door “Sleep thigh, Tony, I’ll see you later” you waved from the bedroom door   
  
“Oh, now you let me sleep, you punk? You heard him screaming at you as you ran to the elevators and asked JARVIS to get you to the cells.  
“Let Captain Rogers know Bucky Barnes will be taken to his floor, JARVIS please” you almost couldn’t contain your happiness by saying so to the AI.   
  
  
Bucky was awake, of course, he was doing push ups on the ground when you entered his room and he seemed surprised by your presence there so soon.  
  
“Is it time for therapy already? I thought it was later…” He got on his feet and you could not contain your smile anymore.   
  
“Gather your stuff, I am taking you out of this hell hole” you started to help getting Bucky’s stuff and you noticed he just stood there, eyes fixed at you, you felt stupid. _He did wanted to get out of here, right?_

  
Before you could say anything you noticed the space between you getting smaller and his arms lightly around you, before he crushed into another hug, you smiled against his chest, hugging him back.  
  
_“Bol’shoye spasibo, detka. (thank you so much, babygirl)”_ you noticed his voice always sounded huskier in Russian, but it was also strangely comforting to you.   
  
“ _Vse budet v poryadke, Bucky, seychas ya zdes' (everything will be fine, Bucky, I am here now)_ ” There was something about you speaking in Russian with each other that changed both of you. It made you feel closer to him, probably from your mental training… Hydra used to make you listen to the Winter Soldier’s voice over and over again. Usually were commands and war phrases, but it was intended to make you feel closer to him. In your rational mind you knew this was some crazy form of Stockholm Syndrome, but you could not shake the feeling off… the feeling your real home was wherever the Winter Soldier was.  
  


  
  
“You need help with these?” you asked as Bucky gathered his books and his diary. He denied “There’s a much better bed there, you will be able to sleep and take a decent bath …and eat…” you smiled walking him down to the elevator. “You are staying with Steve. It was the only way Tony would agree with this. We are also going to get some blood tests with them, me and you.” Bucky froze his steps behind you, the fear of being on a lab again. You guided his face to look straight at you, so you could calm him about it “Don’t worry, James, I will be there with you everytime. They will not hurt you, they will not control you, I promise you that. You are free now.” _Well, as much as this represents freedom, I guess…_ You noticed him calming down and getting back into walking with you to the elevator.  
  
The way to Steve’s floor was silent, you would hear his breathing getting more and more shallow as the right floor approaches and you slightly jump off your feet when you felt his human looking for yours. _He was afraid, he was afraid of being let out because he was afraid of his mind_.   
  
“I will not leave you, James, I promise you that” your grip on his hand went a bit tighter when you said these soothing words and finally you were in Steve’s floor.   
  
Steve was probably training, since it was empty. You guided Bucky to what would be his room and a warm feeling spread inside your chest when you saw the man’s face. Stark luxury could be impressive, you knew.   
  
“There’s a bathroom just behind that door, and a closet in the other. We need to get you clothes, by the way. If you need anything, you can ask JARVIS or call me” you pointed the telephone on the night stand beside the bed. “I wrote down my numbers there, if you need me anytime. And we will keep our therapy here, nothing changes on that”  
  
“Are you leaving?” Bucky looked genuinely sad for a second and you denied.   
  
“I am gonna make you some food, Soldier, real food” the smile on your face could not be contained when you saw the excitement spark in his eyes “Go take a shower while I cook, there’s some clothing I got from Steve in the closet and new towels in the bathroom.” He agreed and you walked to the door “Welcome home, _lyubimaya (darling)_ ”   
  
You were already in the kitchen for longer than an hour when you heard the footsteps towards you. You couldn’t blame Bucky for taking so long on the shower, you did the same when you first came into the tower, Tony had some amazing showers and you figured Bucky hadn’t had a decent one in well… years.  
  
“Are you alright?” you asked watching him sit on the counter next to you, his wet hair framing his face and a slight scent of musk in the air. Okay, _maybe_ you did choose your favorite bath products for him on porpoise.   
  
“Do you think I should cut my hair?” he asked with a confused face and you held back a laugh while working on the food. “I used to have short hair, back in the day… but I kinda like it now” _The Winter Soldier is wondering about a hair cut? Really?_  
  
“I like it, it looks beautiful…honestly, I myself have a thing for long haired guys” you thanked every god you knew for being with your back turned to him, because you could swear you blushed. It was the truth, though. “But we can get it cut if you prefer…” you turned around now with a spoon full of the home made tomato sauce you were making. Bucky’s eyes were on you now, as you approached him with the spoon. “Taste it!” you almost had to shove it into his mouth , making you both laugh “how is it?”  
“It’s amazing… really.” That childlike smile back on his face and you could feel your heart ache with the sweetness. “What are you making?”  
  
“Spaghetti. Do you like it?” now you noticed you didn’t ask James what he would like to eat, stupid brain.   
  
“I haven’t had it since… the 40’s I guess…” again an ache in your heart, but now it was about thinking of all stuff Bucky hadn’t had the chance to have and taste and try since before the war, tears fought their way to your eyes but you kept them down, going back to your cooking.   
  
“Today is your day off, James, we are going to eat and do whatever you want, inside this floor” you quickly added reminding that Stark still had that stupid rule.  
  
“This means I get you all day for myself, doll?” you could feel his smirk in your back, burning.   
  
“Yes, get used to it, we are a team here” it was hard not to swoon over Bucky. Besides him being extremely attractive, since you met something inside of you just wanted to be with him, probably weird Hydra stuff. That’s what you told yourself and wanted to believe.  
  
  
Clint, Bruce, Nat and Steve joined you for lunch and Bucky helped you put up the table. You could feel Nat’s eyes on you and you knew the speech that was coming that night when she had the chance.  
  
“This is really good (Y/N)” Steve said when he first tried your food, you smiled at him. He was a nice guy.  
  
“Yeah, how come Nat doesn’t cook like this?” Clint said and received a punch on the arm from your sister  
  
“Who do you think this little brat learned from?” Clint chew down his food before looking up at her again  
  
“Well, I know for a fact it wasn’t you” saying that he started to run from a really pissed Natasha. Clint and her were like two kids with murder weapons.  
  
“Aren’t you going to protect your girl, Dr. Banner?” Steve asked Bruce, who just looked at the two agents running around  
  
“I’ve seen enough of their fights to not get into it” Bruce took a sip of his glass and you all looked back to see a Hawkeye on the floor, arm twisted on his back, screaming. Nat over him.   
  
“WHO IS A GOOD COOK?” She demanded.  
  
“You are Nat, you are” Clint cried, she twisted his arm more  
  
“AND WHO IS MY LITTLE BITCH?” now Nat had a smirk on her face, her knee forcing Clint’s face in the ground  
  
“I am, I am you little bitch” she then let go a crying Barton and stood up, readjusting her clothes and coming back at the table with a smile on her face.  
  
“You gotta teach them” she said to you, Barton was laid on his back holding his arm against his chest now.   
  
“Are we still going to play laser tag with Tony later?” Clint cried out and Nat made a sound while sipping a glass of wine  
  
“Oh yeah, Tony wants to play laser tag…it’s like training but fun. Two teams, are you guys coming?” She looked at you and Steve. Bucky was sitting in between you two.  
  
“I don’t see why not” Steve said smiling back “it’s going to be a fun practice.” Nat agreed and went back to her food.  
  
“What is laser tag?” Bucky whispered to you “Am I going?”  
  
“Laser tag is a game, like …tag… but with laser guns. And of course you are going. You are the Winter Soldier, I want you on my team” you chuckled and Bucky held a smile, going back to his food, gosh the boy could eat.  
  
You finished your lunch and Clint was doing the dishes ‘because he is nat’s little bitch’. Bucky was a little tense around the others, quiet. Tony had called Steve and Bruce went back to the lab. Now it was you, Bucky, Nat and Clint there.   
  
“Do you guys mind me and Bucky going to our therapy session? I mean we better do it soon if we want to play any laser tag later” your sister agreed and you smiled.  
  
“Be ready at 7!” She told as you guided Bucky back to his room   
  
“Are they like… a thing?” Clint asked Nat as you left them. She took another sip of her wine before a sigh let her lips.  
  
“No, but they will be… and my fear is that this is exactly what HYDRA wants” she whispered the last part to herself  
  
“Better than Loki, I give her that” Clint shrugged going back to the dishes.   
  
“Is it?” Nat couldn’t help but wonder, looking at the door closed where you disappeared, but Clint didn’t listen.  
  
  
  
  
As you entered the room you asked JARVIS to open the big windows, it was a cloudy, but nice day in New York. Bucky went straight to lean on the open window, catching the sunlight in his skin.   
  
“I figured you’d like some fresh air” she chuckled at his blissful expression and handed him a spoon, holding an Ice Cream container with the other hand. “I hid it here before they came for lunch, I am not sharing my Ben  & Jerry’s with anyone who does not deserve it” you opened the ice cream, getting a spoon full  
  
“Do I deserve it?” Bucky asked, now looking at the goods in your hands and to your happy face.  
  
“Of course you do, it’s your day. It’s your new life” you smiled at him, making a sign for him to get ice cream too. “We have some asses to kick tonight in Laser Tag, don’t forget about it. You need energy” Bucky agreed, lightly laughing at your terms, before tasting the ice cream.   
  
“I know I haven’t had this since the 40’s” Bucky made the comment on the ice cream and just relaxing on the sun.   
  
“I wonder what else haven’t you had” your comment was innocent, really, but it made Barnes smirk at you and you noticed how wrong that could have sound “of food Barnes, don’t make it weird”  
  
“I am not, _detka_ , I am not” you stuffed your face with ice cream again to avoid the man, who went silent “do you realize that HYDRA’s dream project is gonna be put in action on a game?” he asked looking at the spoon and you looked back at him, curious. “Me and you working together… that was what HYDRA wanted… and we are going to play games together.”  
  
“I realize we are so going to win…Now what will we get from Stark when we kick his sorry iron ass I wonder?” Bucky scoffed at your mischievous expression, turning his eyes back to the sky.  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heey, who's excited for Tony's laser tag match? 
> 
> Are you a Team Stark? A Team Cap? 
> 
> I wanted to make it in a new chapter o this one wouldn't get ridiculously long
> 
> Also, yes, clint barton is my bitch.


End file.
